Grief after Divorce/Separation
Grief after Miscarriage
Grief during and after a long illness
Grief after Suicide
Grief and Delayed Mourning

Grief after Divorce/Separation

As a cause of stress, divorce rates higher than death. In fact, the loss of a partner is considered the single most stressful event that an individual can experience. And as stress can cause physical illness, it’s important to look for as many natural cures for grief and stress as possible.

Not all divorces cause difficult endings for the participants however. There are cases where the marriage has withered away and both parties are ready to move on. Sometimes this is amicable, but much of the time divorce causes pain either to one or both people involved. The potential for pain after the break-up of a long or intense relationship, even if the formal ties of marriage are absent, is equally great.

If one person has made the decision to end the marriage because they have met someone else, or for some other reason, no longer wish to continue with it, the other person is likely to be in shock for a while. This is especially marked if the new relationship, or the decision to end it, comes as a surprise. If you are undergoing this, you may need to do a lot of process work. Seeing a counselor can be useful, as are many of the natural cures for grief and stress. If you are in shock, remember to give yourself plenty of rest and nourishing, light meals. You may find Allow New Beginnings essence very helpful.

The natural cycle of grief needs to be gone through with divorce, even though the person is still alive. The relationship is dead and that needs to be mourned. Divorce also usually leaves what is popularly termed ‘baggage’, unfinished business, or loose ends. This can be in the form of emotional scars, children in common, or property disputes. If you are not careful, this baggage can ruin your next relationship or, in seriously unresolved cases, the remainder of your life. Continuing the battle over ‘rights’ with an ex-partner can delay the need to move on and come to terms with the loss.

But ‘moving on’ isn’t always that easy when financial and legal agreements may have to be negotiated. It’s worth remembering the old Renaissance dictum, ‘as above, so below.’ If you have a peaceful attitude, which means that you are prepared to stand up for justice but want to achieve a win/win solution, you are far more likely to be able to withstand the stresses of a lengthy court battle or unreasonable demands from an ex-partner. Fortify yourself with Letting go now essence which is powerful in helping you deal with such situations.

Grief after Miscarriage

There is a special kind of grief that prospective parents go through following a miscarriage. This is especially poignant if the couple has been trying to get pregnant for a long time, or has been struggling with infertility issues. As well as the loss of the fetus, there is also the need to mourn the unlived life.

We have many projects in our lives that never reach fruition. Sometimes a relationship, or a job, or a course of study ends without developing into what it could become. There is always regret, not only that it ended, but also that it never grew to fulfilment and, now, never can.

In order to heal from grief after miscarriage, it is tremendously important to be able to mourn. Susan lost two babies when she was in her late thirties. She went through a deep depression that she found hard to share with anyone, even her husband. She said, ‘It was very hard to conceive and then to have two successive miscarriages after all the stress of IVF.’

She looked for natural cures for her grief. She went for prayer healing in her church, started an exercise program and decided to follow a course of study. She also widened her circle of friends and acquaintances and became less fixated on the idea that only having a child would make her feel complete and happy. She says, ‘I found healing in the most unexpected places, not just the ones that were labelled ‘healing’. I met men and women who had tried to become parents and who hadn’t succeeded, biologically at any rate. But some of them had a wonderfully rich and fertile attitude to life, and were always fostering it in other people. My advice to anyone who goes through this kind of grief is to be open to anyone and everyone. Maybe I will get pregnant again and be able to carry the baby to term. Maybe I won’t. But there’s always new life.’

To heal this kind of grief holistically may take many things. Acceptance is key, not only of the situation but also of our attitude towards the situation. As Susan found, new life can come from the most unexpected places.

Susan found Accepting Another Soul’s Path essence to be particularly useful for mourning. You might as well. And don’t forget to try Accepting You Own New Path Flower Essence Combination Flower Essence to be as open to new life as possible.

Grief during and after a long illness

Sometimes a loved one dies, or you experience the loss of a pet, after a long illness. The overwhelming feeling can be one of relief, now it’s finally over. This is especially true if the loved one, or companion animal, suffered before they passed away.

The feeling of relief can be confusing to people and can make them feel guilty that they are not as upset as they feel that they ought to be. Most likely this will pass and the normal phases of mourning will take place.

Coming to terms with dying requires a lot of emotional energy, as well as the physical energy required for caring. So don’t be surprised if you find yourself exhausted. Give yourself time to recover. A break or short holiday can be a very useful boost here.

The blessing that dying after an illness brings is the chance to talk through issues with the loved one and say goodbye properly. This means that there won’t be any unfinished business, which is always a good thing.

When people lose a treasured pet, they often feel very sad that they have to make the decision to put the animal to sleep. Make sure that this is done as lovingly and sensitively as possible and say ‘thank you’ for the time you have had together. Animals have a wonderful way of understanding these messages and often an inestimable grace about leaving this life at exactly the right moment. Is there an essence for animals about to be put down?

If you are going through a terminal illness with a loved one, you may wish to strengthen yourself and your immune system with Lonliness & Light essence essence.

Grief and Delayed Mourning

Grief can be delayed for all sorts of reasons. Pregnant women, for instance, often find it difficult to grieve loved ones, and have to do the work of mourning after the birth of their baby.

Many people get stuck in the denial phase of grief. Although they intellectually know that the loved one has passed, they deny the importance of the person in emotional terms. Carol lost her boyfriend in a car crash. Although the relationship was serious and they had talked of getting married, she denied that he was important to her. ‘He was just a friend,’ she said. But five years later, she has not been able to move on with her life, and suffers from depression, indicating that her mourning has been delayed and that the cycle of grief needs to be completed.

Sometimes, people are just too busy with survival issues to have time to grieve properly. This happens in catastrophic events such as war or natural disaster. An example of this could be Geetha, who lost her husband and one of her three children in the tsunami that hit the Indian Ocean in December 2004. Their home and village in Sri Lanka were completely destroyed and they had to live in a refugee camp for many months. During this time, Geetha was totally pre-occupied with caring for her remaining children. Sometimes just getting enough to eat and getting basic medical attention was a struggle. She literally didn’t have time to grieve her husband until the family was re-settled in a new house and her children were back in school. Then it hit her, almost a year later.

 

The deaths of famous people such as Princess Diana and Michael Jackson offer opportunities for people whose grief has been delayed to come together and mourn collectively. Although Princess Diana was greatly loved, it would be a mistake to think that the outpouring of grief following her death in 1997 was for her alone. Because grief and grieving were allowed during this time, many people were able to complete mourning for loved lost ones.

If you find you haven’t been able to mourn a loved one properly, you might like to think about completing the stages of grief now. Support yourself through the process with as many natural cures for grief as possible. You may find Common Soul Experience Combination Essence to be especially useful.


 

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